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The Comparison Trap

Summa Summarum Education

The Perils Of Comparisons In Homeschooling


One of the biggest obstacles in homeschooling today, is the snare that every parent finds themselves in at one time or the other: The Comparison Trap. 


By definition, homeschooling consists of  parents and guardians who have chosen to be more involved in their ward’s education. By choosing homeschooling as an alternative, the parent is making an active choice to better their child’s academic upbringing. With this level of dedication, it’s perfectly natural to not only want the best for our child but also desire to have all the tools and knowledge necessary for success.


What Is The Comparison Trap


No sane person chooses homeschooling for it to fail. The choice to homeschool is followed up by the desire to do our best and enhance our child’s education. Anything regarding homeschooling, whether it's a statistical report or a social media post, will get us comparing our homeschooling attributes to theirs.   


 
Questions we often ask ourselves: 


  • “Why are the neighbours having more fun with homeschooling activities than my kids?” 
  • “Did Marsha’s family purchase the latest Acme Education package?”
  • “Why do I have the smallest homeroom in our group?”
  • “Are their children really that far ahead compared to mine?”


These insecurities can not only  frustrate us but ultimately start hampering our homeschooling skills. There might come a point that we start turning into a liability instead of our child's greatest asset.


In the homeschooling world, playing “Keeping up with the homeschooled Jonese’s” is a categorical mistake, and can have catastrophic outcomes. 


As humans, we use comparisons from the time we are barely toddlers. Most of our life decisions are directly or indirectly rooted in comparisons. Our choice of spouse, the house we live in, employment, cars, pets, vacation spots, even the movies we choose can be linked to mental comparisons that the mind computes sub consciously. 


Are All Comparisons Bad?


No, not at all. Upward comparisons to a large group or data on a well researched topic may prove to be useful, if used to move ourselves in the right direction. However, this is tricky to maintain with a positive bend as comparisons can and will lead to self doubt, dissatisfaction and low self esteem.


Generally homeschooling comparison falls into two broad categories:


  • Self Comparison


This broadly covers judging our skills as the primary educator, as either inadequate, lacking resources, missing key points, or other factors. Self comparison generally stems from when we are presented with someone else's homeschooling methodology. 


  • Comparison of our child/children’s competence.


When faced with another child’s progress, the feeling that our child could do better, or that our child lacks the necessary skills can transform to self-blame, surreal expectations, and result in disappointments.


Comparison as a prelude to motivate progress is not necessarily a bad thing. Self doubt can lead to better and improved versions of ourselves. It’s the journey we embark on after comparing, that often leads us astray.


Why Do Comparisons Occur?


We often forget to remind ourselves that every child is different. Learning and progressing are not simplistic checkpoints, but often arbitrary constraints. There are many reasons that we compare what we perceive to be a disparity in learning. 


We all secretly want to be that parent whose child wins awards and wins first place. Realistically, we can easily accept the fact that there’s a good chance it won’t happen. However, when we find out that someone else's child is way ahead in the planned curriculum, or has completed reading a book that our child hasn’t even started, it’s irksome! Some parents feel that another child in their homeschooling group is on advanced calculus, while theirs is still struggling with basic algebra. Fear creeps in, and we start questioning ourselves. Are we doing our best? And can we do more?


Let’s stop and ask ourselves one question. Why did we decide to homeschool? Wasn’t it to solve issues like the above? If our child was going to school right now, chances are when faced with the same issues, the school won’t have the time to fix the problem. But we can! 


If our child is slow at Math, we can tailor a course that suits his pace or get additional help to rectify it. If the other kid is faster at reading, good for them. Our child doesn’t need to keep up with them. That's the
beauty of homeschooling. It can be done at a pace that we and more importantly our child is comfortable with. 


We know that comparisons happen when we think either we or our children are far below the normal. As rational adults, we must understand that “normal” is not a fixed point to be achieved. Normal is a changing spectrum that each child defines for themselves. We need to recognize the “normal” for our child.


Am I Equipped to Homeschool My Child?


The two other external comparisons that can really infiltrate our peace of mind and make us question our ability to home educate are:


  1. Is my house equipped for homeschooling?


On social media, we come across the perfect homeroom settings, with matching furniture and spacious dedicated areas, or at a fellow homeschooler’s house. These images can be triggering, because we want the best for our children and think that they would do so much better in a setting like the one we just saw. 


Let’s instead ask ourselves, “Is our child learning?”  That should be much more important than aesthetics. We can always get tips online to
set up our home and maximise the space by buying or building storage objects that best fit our allocated rooms. 


  2. Why do other people have better resources?


With education fast becoming high tech, there are new softwares, education packs, interactive gadgets, learning  tablets and so much more that helps homeschooling. We all know someone who has something new and better, and for our child’s benefit, we feel that we should get it too if it can help them succeed.


However, the more important question to ask ourselves should be “Are the tools I have, doing the job as far as my child is concerned?” If the answer is yes, then we really don’t need the upgrade. It's really that simple.


The Best Comparison Tool


The best comparison for our children would be with themselves. By gauging our child’s abilities from a few months back to now, we will see  their level of progression. We can then set up more achievable goals. 


It’s important to celebrate each milestone they achieve, or change the criteria or methods and start afresh if they haven't. 

To help you on your journey through home education, Summa Summarum Education offers a variety of resources and aids for home educators, as well as home education consultancy. Feel free to reach out to us at any time.

Homeschooling and working full time
by Summa Summarum Education 14 Mar, 2022
When we think of homeschooling we normally visualise a traditional stay-at-home parent taking on the full responsibility of educating the children in the family. But, the regular homeschooled family hasn’t looked that way in years. In this day and age, both parents often work full time and have full schedules. Then, how do they make homeschooling work? It sounds impossible and those making it work seem superhuman, but there are ways everyone can succeed at homeschooling. There are two types of working parents - those who work at an office away from home, and those who have home-based jobs. While home-based working parents can keep an eye on things between tasks, those away from home have a harder time homeschooling. However, this guide has helpful tips for both. Routine, Routine, & Routine With limited hours in the day, it’s essential to make each one of them count. When you have too much on your plate, it can look overwhelming and that’s often where the battle is lost. Take a breather, step back and parcel things out. Fit to Size The entire point of homeschooling is to choose an educational programme that fits the needs of your children and your family. It is unique. There is NO reason your day has to fit a cookie-cutter schedule. Plan your day according to your needs. Schedule work in the hours that you’re available. For small children who need your presence when learning, schedule fun activities earlier in the day and more hands-on learning later for when you’re with them. On-Hand Resources Whether you’re working from home or in your office from 9-5, you’re needed at your desk and cannot really provide the assistance stay-at-home parents can. One way of ensuring your children are productive during this time is to provide proper resources in an accessible area that your children are aware of. This ensures that your children can follow a self-schedule, and makes it much easier for you to switch from work to homeschooling. Take it Easy Just because you’re scheduling things doesn’t mean you have to cram everything into limited time slots. Remember, the schedule needs to work for you. Take a breather, schedule time for ease and mess-ups. It is important that the lessons are understood to the best of their ability. It's not a race, but a process. Childcare For Successful Homeschooling Although childcare may not be an option for everyone, it can be a great resource for homeschooling parents with full-time jobs. They can be your eyes and ears and provide that hands-on guidance that you worry will be missing from your child’s day. But what kind of childcare, and does your situation call for it? Criteria for Childcare Sit down and discuss with your partner what kind of childcare is required. Keep in mind criteria such as the number of children you have, their ages, the location, and the types of care required, especially if you have a special needs child. Once you know exactly what you want, it will be much easier to narrow down options. There is also one more thing to consider - would you prefer home-based childcare or a group-based option? Home-Based Childcare Options This option provides your child with the home environment they are comfortable in, as well as assistance while you are unavailable. Some of the options are: Family Members - If you are lucky enough to have grandparents or other family members living close by, you could ask them whether they would be happy to become part of your home education schedule. Elderly family members oftentimes have skills that get lost over generations, so it would offer a great opportunity to pass on family knowledge and traditions. Local Teens - An experienced homeschool teen or tutor can be hired to provide their services for a few hours. You can share your schedule and curriculum with them for seamless learning. They also often have tips for studying and exams if they have recently sat their own GCSE and A-Levels. Do bear in mind though that teens are not yet adults, so remember to have a good emergency plan in place should an unexpected situation arise. Stay at home mums - There are many stay-at-home mums that are more than willing to watch your children along with their own for a nominal fee, and make sure they are keeping to the outlined schedule. This is also a great option for your children to socialise with other children and to offer stay at home mothers an extra income. Trading spaces - If your work schedule allows you to take a few work-from-home days, you can swap days with another homeschooling full time working parent who also needs help with childcare. Security checks for older children - If your children are older and don’t require constant supervision, you can leave them at home to follow a provided schedule but install security checks like cameras (if you're into tech) in the home. Group or Centre-Based Options There are also away-from-home options you can explore for your child. Daycare - Although most home education families prefer to keep their children out of institutions, there are some great daycares out there that will be more than happy to take on your outlined curriculum and incorporate it into their time at the daycare. However, it is vital to check that you approve of their learning and teaching methods especially with regards to any agendas or political movements that have recently infilitrated childcare institutions. Workplace daycare - Many office buildings offer childcare in the form of on-site daycare centres where you can stay in touch with your child throughout the day and make sure they are given the one-on-one attention they need to meet their goals. Homeschool co-ops - A great way to get your children to socialise, homeschool co-ops often meet at least once a week and though they might not follow your exact personalised curriculum they are a great source of guidance and to see other methods being applied. It's Okay To Outsource You don’t have to do everything yourself. It is okay to let people into your homeschooling bubble and take over where you need someone to pick up the slack. There are so many resources available for you to choose from. Online Programmes Resources such as YouTube videos, online lesson plans, and worksheets are a great way to get your child to interact with the world wide web and not fall behind on their lessons. Community Programmes Community centres offer great workshops for young children. Sign them up for programs that require expertise that you might not have. It will broaden their horizons and teach them about their place in the community. Tutors Building off on the point of expertise, there are subjects you might struggle with while teaching, that someone with more experience could provide better insight into. Hiring a tutor can help take the pressure off and your child can benefit from having topics explained to them in a different manner. Communication Is Key Homeschooling and working a full-time job while incorporating childcare and/or tutors can feel like a whole lot to juggle but, it is achievable through constant communication. Shared Calendars A shared calendar works wonders. Install a large one in the kitchen that the family can review every morning. That visual aid really helps. For more detailed calendars there are online options where the schedule can include the online resources via links or the number of worksheets to do with the sheets already printed and available in the child’s folder. This helps everyone stay on track. Family Meetings Family meetings to review what's working and what's needed helps you make changes as a family. It will also instil a sense of we’re-all-in-this-together. Constant Updates Stay in touch through messenger or other direct messaging to communicate any changes or delays to the schedule. Remember that you can always reach out to us if you feel overwhelmed. You can book a free 30-minute consultation here . There are lots of parents who homeschool and work and they all agree that while it's tough it's not impossible. With a little guidance, help and advice, you can achieve what you set out to do and offer your children a fulfilling and joyful home educated childhood.
by Summa Summarum Education 14 Mar, 2022
Are you a complete novice to home education? Have you given it a go but still struggle with planning your curriculum? Stuck at a particularly difficult school year and don’t know where to start? Congratulations, you’ve come to the right place. The aim of this article is to help you identify the key to successful curriculum planning and how to declutter the wealth of information available online to get to the essentials. The first thing you need to review before you start homeschooling is the government issued guidelines and requirements in whichever country you reside. Both the United Kingdom , and the United States have governing bodies that regulate and monitor homeschooling. Make sure you understand the guidelines provided before you formulate a homeschooling curriculum. Selecting Subjects & Outlining Goals The primary advantage about home education is that you can mould the curriculum and personalise it to appeal to your child. It may seem daunting but, take a step back from the sheer amount of lessons that need to be taught and simply select the basic subjects. Once you’ve decided on those, it will be much easier to sort out lessons in each. Also, be aware of the grade level your child is in and what, if any, requirements they need to fill. Define Your Approach Just because the curriculum is the same for everyone, doesn't mean your homeschooling style needs to be too. The outlined lessons can be taught with a unique approach that works best for your child. There are three main learning styles you can try and see which one works best: Visual - Observation and visual aids help the child understand concepts better. When they have a picture or video in their head, it’s easier for them to retain information. Auditory - More focused on hearing and listening, this learning style provides auditory tools for information retention. Kinesthetic - Also known as tactile learning, it involves physical play and learning through the sense of touch. Once you know which style or combination of styles your child responds to best, you can find visual or auditory tools and resources to help with lessons. It is also possible that your child might prefer different styles for different subjects. English might require auditory learning, while science might require visual and kinesthetic. Keep these things in mind when drafting a curriculum. You might also be interested in a particular school of thought when it comes to home education. There are plenty of resources available online and also fully drafted curriculums to choose from. Some of these styles are: Traditional Roadschooling Worldschooling Unschooling Eclectic Homeschooling Montessori Homeschooling Homeschooling with Unit Studies Charlotte Mason Homeschooling Waldorf Homeschooling Review Curriculum Options This is by far the most overwhelming aspect of preparing a curriculum and is the point where most people give up. Oftentimes, a simple Google search will turn up so many options that we end up more confused than informed. Follow the guidelines mentioned on how you can make this process easier for yourself. Take Your Time Even though this sounds basic, it cannot be stressed enough. Setting everything up may seem like a daunting task, but it does not mean you have to rush into anything, or master the process at the get-go. First, schedule some time to get started. Next, arm yourself with a simple notebook and pen, and instead of multitasking, use that time to only brainstorm and plan. Take your time with deciding, keeping planning and implementation in mind. This will lead to less hassles, and save a lot of back and forth when you actually have to homeschool. Write it all down, so you have notes to refer to later, bookmark helpful online resources in a separate folder, and build from there. Curriculum Criteria Make note of what you want from the curriculum. This will help you eliminate the unnecessary subjects and lesson plans from what you need. Some of the basic criteria people use when opting for home education are: Checking whether the lessons are faith-based (for the religiously, or not-so religiously inclined) The amount of flexibility and/or rigidness in a daily plan The curriculum level being advanced enough, or basic enough to suit your child Region-specific (particularly for Canada and the USA) Bookmark Potential Curriculum As we mentioned before - take your time. During your research, if you come across a curriculum you like, bookmark it and move on. You can always come back and take a look at it again and see how it compares to others, and which bits you’d like to incorporate into your home education curriculum. Check Online Reviews Many homeschoolers have fantastic blogs online where they discuss the tips and tricks that worked best for them. They also discuss the curriculum and review it. If you oscillate between teaching methods and curriculum you can always read real reviews and experiences to help make an informed decision. Breakdown Into Planners Now that you’ve selected your curriculum or made a personalised hybrid that works best for your child, you need to decide how to implement it. Some homeschoolers prefer following a traditional school year with appropriate vacation days, while others prefer parcelling lessons throughout the whole year. Then, you need to decide how long your school week will be. Perhaps you prefer a four-day school week, or you may opt for more or less working days. Certain groups prefer to have one or two days in the week where lessons are reinforced through field exploration and outings. Once you decide on what the school year will look like, you can start spreading the work throughout this timeline. Investing in a good planner also helps. A visual planner in the kitchen can have the basic information to help you visualise your week. For a more detailed planner turn to the internet. There are many online options where you can note down lessons to be conducted, and attach links to documents and resources to be used, as well as activities that will go with the lesson. Prep Beforehand This step is very important, and is where you could reach the most success in homeschooling if done right. You can plan all you want to, but if you aren’t prepared for lessons beforehand, the entire plan can and will be derailed. To keep on top of things, follow these necessary tips: Print And Prepare All the resources, worksheets, planning details, and everything you need should be printed and sorted beforehand so you won't be empty-handed at the time of the lesson. Always Have Supplies On Hand Similarly, buy and store away all of your school supplies from pencils, erasers, glue, and scissors in proper places with easy access. Any experiments you’d like to conduct should also be prepared for beforehand. Have A Proper System All of your resources should ideally be colour coordinated and labelled, and stored in a system your children will also understand. Having said that, there is no need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on fancy supplies and trendy organisation products. Neither do you need to spend hours stressing over your set-up - a simple one where everything is assigned a home will do. Organising your space does not need to instantly look Pinterest-perfect (no matter how wonderful and effortless those artisan Mums on there make it look.) If you would like to apply your own creativity to the process, then give it a go. But, if you are like most parents who just need to get things in order, then start small and simple, and build from there. Before you know it, your home school structure will be crisp, well-organised, and most of all, functional. Think About Demarcating A Proper School Space Many families prefer to have a dedicated space in which to learn, as it can help children to be in a proper mindset when they sit for lessons. It is always worthwhile trying this out to see if it works for your family. Final Thoughts Planning a Home Education Curriculum may seem daunting at first, but if you follow the above mentioned steps and set yourself mini targets and goals, there is absolutely no reason that you cannot plan one out. Contact us for any help you may require, and we will be delighted to assist you in any way possible. Good luck with your homeschooling and remember to try and enjoy the process. After all, this is all about you and your family!
by Summa Summarum Education 09 Feb, 2022
Children are little balls of energy and it is our job as parents and guardians to channel that energy into productive steps towards independence. One of the tools that help children navigate the world around them is the ability to read. Even academically, the ability to read and comprehend succinctly is the foundation on which all learning is built. It is an essential skill and the sooner your child is introduced to it, the better. Unfortunately, most of us don’t remember our lessons from primary school so, how do we help our children learn how to read? The answer can be found in phonics. Parents and teachers all over the world use this technique to teach reading as it is the simplest, yet most effective method. The thought of teaching your child through phonics might be daunting, but over my years of experience I have picked up tips and tricks that I will share with you to make the whole process as easy as pie. What are phonics and why is it important? Words come in all shapes and sizes, and some can be intimidating. For a child, they are like ink-soldiers marching on the page, impossible to decipher. Phonics allows them to concentrate on the sound each letter makes instead. Breaking the word down into smaller sounds helps children tackle each sound and mold it together, rather than being intimidated by the word as a whole. Think of teaching reading with phonics, like making your child a snack. Handing a whole apple to your child might seem simple but the chances of them finishing the whole thing are unlikely. Cutting it up into smaller pieces makes it easier for them to eat and finish the whole thing. Phonics is similar. Phonics is important because they teach the child how to deal with more than reading. They can tackle a big problem by stripping it down to its basics and then deciphering each portion till they understand the whole and can blend them together. How are phonics taught in school and how can you help at home? The first step students learn is to recognize the sounds each alphabet makes. They are taught that ‘a’ makes the ‘aahh’ sounds, and that ‘m’ makes the ‘mmm’ sound. The alphabets are often written down to reinforce their sounds. After the basics are ingrained, students are taught how to blend the sounds together. Short words such as cat are broken down into ‘c-a-t.’ The first step is to sound out the individual letters, and then the phonics are blended together to sound out the word. More and more words are added to the students' vocabulary this way. There are many ways you can support your child. By reinforcing the words that your child is currently learning, you can add to their vocabulary by helping them read more words with phonics. They don’t have to be specially curated. You can read off labels, milk cartons, and even help them decipher the spellings of pots and pans. The key is to make it as fun and engaging as possible. Fun tips to engage your child. The best way to reinforce phonics is to hide the activity within games. Here are some suggestions: Use their favourite hobbies and toys Children form intense attachments to toys, hobbies, and even tv shows. Pick up on their latest obsession and try to work phonics reading around it. If they are obsessed with a cartoon character or fairytale, try to sing along with the catchy songs and sound out the phonics to a lead character’s name, or title of a film. Read the signs A great road trip game is reading number plates. But what if you flipped it around and tried reading the passing sign boards and shop names with your child? They don’t have to be elaborate and it will help them recognize symbols for different kinds of shops as well. YouTube searches Has this ever happened to you? Your toddler will come to you and insist you search up a particular video for them to watch. Turn this into a teaching moment. Sound out the phonics for the channel name and insist they find the associating alphabet on the keyboard to type on their own. Eye Spy Another classic that can be a great way to teach phonics is eye spy. Instead of saying you spy something starting with ‘t,’ say you spy something starting with ‘ttt.’ It will reinforce the phonic sound and help them recognize objects around the house that start with that particular alphabet. Sight words Visual recognition of words is key to helping your child read faster. Try and read to your children every night. Make it a habit and start as early in their lives as possible. Help point out words from the text that they might have reviewed during their phonics learning. The more visual recognition they have of the words the easier it will be to recognize and read them quickly the next time they come across it. This transition from phonics to reading the whole word comes a little later but it is essential that it is done consciously throughout the week. What to do if your child is still struggling to read? While you scramble over every article and every self-help book out there, remember, every child has their own pace. Some pick things up quickly but struggle with comprehension. Some take their time learning the basics but, once they do they hit the ground running and exceed every expectation. If your child is struggling, try to recognize what in the current environment, or curriculum might not be working for them. We hold consultations for parents who are looking for a more personalised and hands-on solution to their child’s reading problems. For more information, you can always get in touch with us for a free 30-minute consultation.
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